ON WANKING by an expert

What do they teach our children in school about masturbation?

I would be very interested to see a hand-out or video clip to see how this sensitive topic is actually contextualised in the classroom, I imagine it  would be something along these lines:

MESSAGE FROM THE JESTER TO THE KID'S ABOUT SELF GRATIFICATION:-
The act of masturbation is safe, harmless and extremely enjoyable. For men it is verging on necessary, though not all men masturbate - but if you don't you are going to shoot your load in your dreams. If you can remember these dreams you've got free virtual reality sex - you have a gift, I wouldn't risk upsetting this by wanking. What was I saying?

The act of masturbation is safe and it feels good. Very good. However, its easy availability means that it can become very addictive and eat into time when one might be engaged in more productive activities, if not taken in hand (no pun intended) by the individual.

It is predominantly amongst males that the use of pornography and erotic art is prevalent - they find that fixating upon a visual stimuli provides a locus for their fantasies and this heightens their satisfaction. Pornography can also be insidiously addictive - and like a drug it produces diminishing returns. The search for harder and harder material can lead an individual to uncover dormant 'fetishes' that may never have occurred to them, or that they might have preferred to have unearthed with a partner.

Regarding 'fetishes' - a lot of adults find a great deal of joy and intimacy in unusual sexual practices, though these are usually frowned on by religious authorities.  I personally feel that no consensual act between adults should be forbidden - for who are we to stand in the way of the sacred enactment of archetypal relationships?

Whatever your personal stance on 'perversion' it is a good idea to remember 'to be careful what you wish for' while masturbating, for one's latent desires can become all-consuming, and they are not readily tamed once aroused. Think - it would seem a shame if you met the boy/girl of your dreams, but were sexually incompatible because you had already discovered while wanking that what sexually aroused you was spanking and that they did not share this predilection.

In short: whatever you wish for while masturbating, it will become a prerequisite that the boy/girl of your dreams shares this fantasy, otherwise your sex life will seem lacking and you will be driven to look elsewhere. By extension the more outlandish your fantasies are the less potential partners you will have.

All I'm really saying is that while the act of masturbation is safe there are potential drawbacks in the long-term to wanton indulgence in onanism.

END OF MESSAGE///

I'm glad they're teaching this to the kids, I would have taken that on board, its sensible, rational and true. I probably wouldn't have modified my behaviour significantly, but at least I would have been making an informed decision.

MESSAGE FROM THE JESTER TO THE ADULTS ABOUT SELF GRATIFICATION:-
Masturbation makes you blind and turns you into a werewolf.